Revealing PSIcrets
by pyro-technic242
Summary: My name is Kusuo Saiki, and I'm a psychic. My powers somehow returned at the end of the anime, and I am not thrilled. Anyway, I decided to tell my nuisances-turned-friends about them, and even though they've returned, I'm not backing out. Good grief.


Synopsis: My name is Kusuo Saiki, and I'm a psychic. My powers somehow returned at the end of the anime, and I am not thrilled. Anyway, I decided to tell my nuisances-turned-friends about them, and even though they've returned, I'm not backing out. Good grief.

PK Academy. The most prestigious academy present in the fictional world of the Disastrous Life of Kusuo Saiki. Probably because it is the only academy present in the fictional world of the Disastrous Life of Kusuo Saiki.

This academy is average in all respects, though its students are anything but. Take Chisato Mera for example. She can eat fifty full course meals and still have room for more. Metori Saiko seemingly has an endless amount of wealth at his fingertips, an endless number of bodyguards at his heel, and an endless amount of arrogance to boot. And Shun Kaidou has a serious case of chuunibyou despite being over sixteen years old already. But none of them compare to our resident pink-haired psychic.

_My name is Kusuo Saiki, and I'm a psychic. In the last episode of the anime, I lost my powers for good- or so I thought. Anyway, they're back now. Nothing I can really do about it. At least they seem to be far weaker than before._

_Considering I have my telepathy back, I shall speak as I normally do, without moving my lips. When I talk to all of you, meaning the kind readers taking out the time to read this naturally vastly flawed story, the dialogue shall be italicized as it is now. If I'm talking to a character in the anime, it shall be in bar brackets. If I'm talking to someone in the anime telepathically (so that no one else will hear), it will be in single quotes and italicized. Let me demonstrate-_

[Good morning, Matsuzaki-sensei.]

"Good morning Saiki!" said the spiky-haired P.E instructor. "Hurry up and get to class if you have already eaten," he continued, striding down the hallway towards the staffroom.

_See? Had I wanted to talk to Matsuzaki-sensei specifically so that no one would 'hear' my telepathy, it would have been like 'Good morning, Matsuzaki-sensei.'_

The P.E teacher, despite being far away from Saiki at that point, shook his head in confusion as the pink-haired student's voice reverberated around his head a second time. Maybe his lack of screen time was getting to him…

_Anyway, I'd made the decision to tell my nuisances-turned-friends about my powers when they were gone for good. Not that they would believe me, but that would have been fine. But now, I have them back, which is _not_ fine. My stupid father shall ask me to teleport him to work again, and Kuusuke shall probably resume his challenges. Good grief, he might actually win some this time around considering my powers are quite weak compared to before._

_However, I'm not backing out of my decision. Though I must admit, they might even believe me now. And I have Akechi, Aiura and Toritsuka to back me up._

_Well, no putting it off now_… he took a deep breath, steeling himself before opening the door.

"Saiki!" hailed Kaidou as Kusuo opened the door, shutting it behind him. "What was it you wanted to talk to us about?" (Please note that Kusuo had already used his Apport to exchange some money he had had on his person with his glasses and limiters, so that he didn't accidentally hurt anyone with his powers.)

"Saiki-kun doesn't normally do this, so I must admit, I'm curious," said Hairo.

"Shall we go get ramen after school?" Nendou was apparently as much of an idiot as ever.

Aiura, Akechi and Toritsuka were the only one looking serious. Well, not Toritsuka, considering his head was buried in a porn magazine. Ignoring the smiling faces of their classmates, Aiura said, "Are you sure you want to tell them, Kusuo?"

[I'm sure. There's no going back after what happened in Oshimai.] (_I'd filled Akechi in prior to the events of this story._)

"Oh, so this is about what happened in Oshimai?" asked Yumehara.

"Saiki-kun, you do realize you don't have to tell us if you still don't want to," said Teruhashi, God's chosen one, looking at the pink-haired boy worriedly. He smiled inwardly. [I know. But I think I'm ready now.]

"Yes, you really don't have to tell them," interjected Akechi, no doubt just wanting to preserve his status as 'one of only three characters in the show who knew about Kusuo Saiki's powers'.

He took another deep breath. Then another. Then another for good measure. [To put it simply… I have psychic powers.]

The room went silent. Though Kusuo could hear Akechi shrieking inwardly in anger, saying something about how his importance in this story would decrease now that he wasn't one of the only ones who knew about this, and that he barely got enough screen time in the anime as it was. _Good grief, shut up Akechi. You were introduced late in the second season, there weren't many opportunities to feature you anyhow. Besides, you're getting screen time now. Even if this screen time doesn't really count._

"Okay, what have you done to him, Shun?" asked Kuboyasu, whacking the aforementioned boy on the head. "Have you infected Saiki with your chuuni genes or something?"

The Jet-Black Wings sputtered. "I don't have chuunibyou!"

Hairo peered at him suspiciously. "Why are you telling us this, Saiki-kun?"

"Ahh!" yelled Nendou. "_Aibou's_ got chuuni disease from the _chibi_!"

"He's telling the truth, you know," Akechi and Aiura jumped in to defend him.

_So, they don't believe me. Fine. At least I can prove it, now._

Kusuo pointed at a desk, making it levitate with his psychokinesis before flinging it aside, making it land perfectly next to Teruhashi, who yelped in surprise.

"H-how…how did you do that?!" shouted a shocked Yumehara. Teruhashi had almost passed out from shock.

[I told you. I have psychic powers.]

"The table was floating! Floating! Floating!" shouted Nendou.

Kusuo's eyebrow twitched.

"Woah," said Mera, eyes wide. _Why the hell did she take so long to react?_

He ran a hand through his hair. [I don't know why I have these abilities. No one does. But ever since I was fourteen days old, I displayed teleportation, psychokinesis, telepathy, pyrokinesis, levitation, electrokinesis, super strength, X-ray vision, invisibility-]

"SO MANY?!" shrieked several of them at once.

"T-telepathy?" shrieked Teruhashi a beat later, her cheeks on fire. "D-does that mean you-"

Kusuo winced. _'Sorry, Teruhashi,'_ he said to her telepathically, making her shriek once more. This was thankfully ignored. [I also have many more.]

"Wait, wait, wait!" yelled Kaidou, staring at him intently. "In the first episode of the anime, I thought I'd killed the Murder Dragoram Snake with my Judgement Knights of Thunder attack, but really, that had been you, right?" Kusuo nodded.

"Murder Dragoram Snake?" asked Akechi, flummoxed.

"And when we were stranded on that island," said Yumehara, "somehow, food and drink straight out of a supermarket floated towards us. I thought that had been because Kokomi is God's chosen one, but that had really been you, right?"

[Yes. I'd teleported when you were otherwise occupied.]

"Stranded on an island?!" screamed Akechi. _Seriously, someone make this guy watch the episodes before the one in which he made his debut!_

"And back during the Cultural Festival," recounted Kuboyasu, "a meteorite fell into the classroom from outer space. Had that been Saiki, too?"

[Yeah.]

"A meteorite from outer space?!" Akechi now sounded absolutely delighted. _Good grief, it had barely been the size of a pebble._

"Why are you telling us this, Saiki-kun?" repeated Hairo.

Kusuo sighed. [It's a long story. Almost five years ago, I figured out that a volcano in Oshimai called Owari Mountain would erupt, destroying Japan in the process. I tried to stop the eruption, but I was far too weak to do so. Now, I have two very special powers- mind control and rewinding time. I used these to rewind the Earth by a year and make it so that no one would find it strange that they would not age.]

"Oh, so _that's_ why we've been in second year so long!" said Kaidou.

"And why we've got like four transfer students!" chimed in Mera.

"Huh?" asked Nendou, a big question mark above his head.

_As you have probably guessed, I undid the mind control on their heads._ _Though it doesn't seem to have had too much of an effect on Nendou._

[I repeated this process four times. However, this year, using another special power of mine called bilocation (with which I may clone myself) I managed to stop the eruption.]

"Oh, good for you, Saiki-kun!" said Hairo cheerfully. _And for all of Japan too, you hothead!_

"So, that explains those twins of yours," said Teruhashi, still not looking directly at him.

[My original plan had been to deactivate my powers permanently before telling all of you, but for some reason, they have returned. Though they are considerably weaker than before,] finished Kusuo.

"As expected of a gag anime, I suppose. Even the best laid plans go wrong," said Kuboyasu. _Tell me about it._

"How would you have deactivated your powers?" wondered Mera.

[My older brother, Kuusuke, is a genius. As I grew older, my powers swelled to the point where I could destroy houses by turning over in my sleep. He made limiters for me so that it wouldn't happen. Eventually, he made a limiter that would permanently remove them. Or should have, anyway.]

"Why would you deactivate that sort of power! That sounds so cool!" yelled Kaidou. As expected, they ignored the fact that he could have obliterated all of them had he made a mistake at any point. Such fools.

"Idiot!" yelled Kuboyasu, hitting Kaidou over the head. "Did you not hear the part about Saiki destroying houses by turning over in his sleep?!"

Hairo nodded. "Saiki-kun's powers may sound cool, but they are incredibly dangerous. He could have accidentally hurt someone permanently or even killed them."

"But Saiki wouldn't do that!" yelled Kaidou. Kusuo tried to hide a small, surprised smile at the trust the short boy was placing in him. [I wouldn't have done it _intentionally_. But it could have happened at any point had I not kept these limiters on. Hairo is correct in stating my powers were extremely dangerous. And, even though they are reduced now, they still are so.]

"Reduced how?" asked Akechi intently.

Kusuo was a little tired of the endless barrage of questions. But he retained his patience and continued to answer. [Suffice it to say that I won't be blowing up houses by turning over in my sleep. I could still do it if I wanted, but it would take much more effort.]

"Shall we get ramen now?" Kuboyasu smacked Nendou on the back of his head without even glancing his way. He seemed to be smacking a lot of people today. First Kaidou, now Nendou.

"OW!" Nendou rubbed his head.

"Idiot! Is that your reaction to Saiki telling us this!" Kuboyasu raged.

"Huh?" asked Nendou, a question mark popping up over his head once more.

Yumehara shook her head. "Kokomi, how could you have liked Nendou-kun at any point, I'm not sure…"

"WHAT?!" yelled all the boys in the class, sans Kusuo.

"WHAT?!" added Teruhashi a beat later.

"WHAT?!" screamed Mera, Aiura, and the rest of the female characters, sans Yumehara.

"T-T-_Teruhashi-san_!" yelled Kaidou and Kuboyasu in shock, outrage, and disbelief to match.

"T-T-Teruhashi-san!" crooned Nendou. Or tried to croon. Instead of the Romeo he envisioned himself as, he ended up looking like a chimpanzee aiming a hideous moue at the blue-haired beauty.

_Good grief._

[Well, that's all I wanted to say.] _No point in hanging around these idiots any longer._ [Class is about to start.]

"W-Wait, Saiki!"

"Shall we go get ramen together?"

"Ah, S-Saiki-kun…"

Kusuo sped up in an attempt to evade Teruhashi, feeling a small smile pull at his lips.

**: ) **

**I love Saiki Kusuo no Psi Nan.**


End file.
